This is it, MEN: August 13th, we take back the theaters! We can’t lose to fucking awkward kid Michael Cera in the Scott Pilgrim film or Julia Roberts in another pile of BULL-SHIT. Twilight and the Jonas Brothers have made America softer than ever and our heroes from the good ol’ days of manly action films are taking movies back for hot-blooded badasses everywhere!
Grow your beards, slug a wild animal in the face, and join me and other REAL MEN in theaters worldwide for the true epic known as The Expendables!
Not so fast, I have a counterpoint.
After recovering from AFO, which is August 6-8, the following weekend their are so many movie choices coming out that next weekend.
There’s the chick flick with Julia Roberts
There’s the one with the meatheads that blame the action hero genre downturn on Batman and not, ohh I dunno, Judge Dredd or Last Action Hero.
There that one that looks like a video game with Michael Cera, which looks multiple shades of awesome.
What? I liked the comics.
Yet, their’s one other movie coming out. The first ever Miyuzaki movie. No, not the guy that used to make good movies like Totoro, Spirited Away, or Howl’s Moving Castle. Coming August 13th is Goro Miyuzaki’s “Tales of Earthsea”.
http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/earthsea/#/videos
Why did it take so long to get here? You can thank Syfy. They had the rights to the Earthsea story and make a SciFi Original.
Wouldn’t you like to show them how the story could have been told?
I mean besides reading the books.
August 13th, You know what to do.
Sure you can sit in a crowded theater and watch a testosterone fest, or estrogen fest, or a geek fest.
Protip: Some movie theaters have deals on other nights of the week or reduce prices so later in the week go see one of those.
Or you can make a stand. You can see adventure, see heroics, see magic, and piss off Syfy all for the price of a movie ticket to Tales of Earthsea.
Unless it’s not playing in the area, then walk, run or get dragging kicking and screaming to one of those other fine movies.
Wow, they are actually releasing Tales of Earthsea in U.S. Theaters!? That totally flew under my radar! Thanks for the info!
I will be in the testosterone fest regardless, but I’ll be sure to catch Tales of Earthsea the day after.